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Written by Dyslexicdayna |
03.08.2022
It’s my birthday!
On the 3rd of august 1997, an icon was born… me (only joking) and every year since my nearest and dearest use this day to celebrate all things Dayna and her love for goats (you read that right).
As someone who is neurodivergent, I often find the day of my actual birthday difficult to manage. From replying to facebook posts to ringing family members to say thank you. It’s a lot of communication both written and verbal and being dyslexic and dyspraxic these are two areas I struggle with. Sometimes, I wish I could just stay in bed, eating pizza, taking comfort in the fact that everyone knows how thankful I am for their wishes, cards and gifts without the formality and time pressure of the thank you… but that's not socially appropriate and I would be branded as ‘rude’ so I put on a pretty dress and prepare myself for how draining the day will be.
Birthdays breed neurodigvernet masking, we constantly put ourselves in uncomfortable situations to please others because of the pressure of social standards. This year I am trying to put myself first on my birthday, knowing that like every other day- I don’t owe anyone my time, to take it slow and treat myself with understanding. I'm going to listen to myself, my needs, and know that it being my birthday doesn’t make me any less neurodivergent. By the way, I'm not ungrateful, I just need to say thank you in my own way, at my own pace. So let’s give this a go.
06.08.2022
Reflection
A couple of days have passed since I celebrated my 25th birthday. It was filled with love, joy, good company and LOTS OF FOOD! But you’re all wondering, did I stick to my guns and set any boundaries and protect my space?
The answer is yes… mostly.
A summary is facebook posts remain without a reply and phone calls have yet to be returned from extended family (I did however, pick up calls from immediate friends and family to say thank you for their cards, presents and general support throughout my life).
By allowing myself to ignore social media and I can say wholeheartedly I had a slow paced enjoyable birthday full of peace which is what my neurodivergent brain craves during busy social periods. I allowed myself to feel the emotions of the everyday human experience and throw away the metaphorical birthday mask of ‘happiness’… which in turn, made me truly happy on my birthday.
The moral of this blog post: it being your birthday doesn’t change the fact you're neurodivergent, so take up space, take your time and set boundaries.
Comment
Hi Dayna, Firstly, a belated happy birthday to you.
Bravo for this lovley message and for taking time for your self.
I complitly agree, I become very selfish- it may seem to others!!- on my birthday and I endulge in being with my huspand and children along with my dear and speshall frends.
I leave all messages ect for as long as I choose.
You are so right to do this, time out is valuble and we do need that time to digest the day along with taking life at our own pace and if you can not do that on your bithday, well then you just might miss out all together.
Bravo and happy birtday and may this be a wonderfull year ahead xoxo G